i refuse to go back...

I'm on my way to you. You're going to help me through this all. I don't really know how it's all going to work out but I believe that it will. I'm going through a lot right now. I feel like everything is coming apart right now. I'm nervous about getting out of the military. It's like a good nervous feeling. Almost as if you're about to jump out of a plane and you're hoping your chute opens. You're scared as hell but hoping that everything works out okay. Personally, my life could be a lot better. I'm stuck. Emotionally. Physically. I feel like I want to move on but I don't really know how to. I need your help. I need to be able to move on. I think distance will help out with that but I don't want to rely soley on that. I want to be able to go in a healthy direction. I'm frustrated with how things have turned out. I wonder, what is it going to take for me to find love? All I've been looking for is a loving relationship with a caring partner. All I've end up doing is coming up short. I wonder if it has to do with my lifestyle. Maybe if I was what someone else wanted me to be than I'd be able to find "love." Maybe I should say "fuck it," and just wait it out. I'm a cool chick. I have plenty to offer. There has to be someone out there waiting for me. I hope I don't have to wait to long.