At first I was cold hearted, but now I feel every little thing.

who are we? is life always going to be this complex? people holding others to ridiculous standards just for the sake of doing it. labels are the devil. i heard someone say that last night. I'm going to agree with that statement. people get lost behind labels. feel like those labels define who they are. labels inflate us SO HIGH than have the tendency to deflate us so fast!... BOOM!. nothing left but a pile of rubble, dust, and disappointment. labels make me feel sorry for you. how is that we allow ourselves to get caught up in that all the while forgetting to actually see the person being swallowed up by the label. their drowning, and instead of helping them we're throwing more water into their sinking ships talking bout "Shush you! I'm helping!" How did our perception get so distorted? beer goggles for today's Christians. hell, I won't even focus solely on believers. beer goggles for today's people. we're so quick to judge and offer our "help" that we don't even take the time to listen, to get to the root of the real problem. here we are trying to cure someones sadness with tough love not even realizing that person has no idea what LOVE even is.

can you imagine? what is love? how do you define l-o-v-e? kissing... having sex... family... commitment... belonging to something bigger than yourself... happiness... butterflies in the tummy... heartache when they're away... pit of despair when you realize they're never coming back... open ended promises... down home cooking... hugs... that look... caring when no one else did...

are these correct definitions? you may say, no they are not. but who are you to say that? not too long ago i realized that i didn't even know the true meaning of family love. here i came from a huge family. one that i thought showed love the right way. turns out, i don't think we do. i think we show our own mutilated, messed up interpretation of love because that's how we've been taught to love. we don't know any better so we use sarcasm to hurt people that we love. we say things like, "this is just how we are." we blame it on, oh my dads sarcastic and so is my whole family. but the truth is why? why do we continually make fun even when we know its not funny anymore? why do we cross a line and then use an excuse of, "oh, you should be use to it by now." what a bunch of jerks we are. that's what I'm realizing... i once was a jerk.... an asshole... a sarcastic prick... a douche... a bully... a drunk... a user... an abuser... but now I'm not. I'm not defined by those things. I have my moments. I can still be an ass, but I'm more sensitive to the people around me and their feelings. people aren't meant to be robots. aren't meant to be clams. aren't meant to be bulletproof. it's okay for us to cry. that's not comic worthy. that should be applauded. that's genuine... and in a day like today, that is extremely hard to find.